Beginner tips for choosing a therapist

Written by: Bao Yang, MSW, LCSW

You finally made the decision to consult with a therapist, and after navigating the system that is your health insurance and finding someone in network (or you took the time to budget/prioritize paying for therapy out of pocket), you search up therapist in your area only to find that there are too many choices. If you’re like me, and you feel stressed when given too many choices, let me provide some beginning tips to narrow down your search (from a therapist standpoint).

Write down what comes to mind and pare it down from there.

1) Pare down therapists based off looks:

Hear me out- as a therapist, I want you to feel comfortable and motivated to come to therapy. There is no reason to put yourself in a room with me or any other therapist that you feel uncomfortable with (especially if it’s something they can’t control).

Identify what you want your therapist to look like (within reason). If I asked you to describe someone who you would go to for guidance, what characteristic would this person have?

Some people may value having a therapist that looks like them, others may value someone completely different. Some people only want to work with a certain gender. Some people want to work with more experienced therapist - and would feel unmotivated (and to put it bluntly - have no confidence) working with a student therapist or a fresh out of college therapist. The opposite have also been true - I have had clients who only wanted to work with younger therapist as they felt an older one would not be able to relate to them.

Be honest and communicate your preference, when possible, if you decide to go to a clinic with multiple therapist who have openings.

Too many options can be overwhelming. Pare down choices by picking one value and eliminating choices from there.

2) Pare Down based off therapist’s philosophy:

We understand that there are more than one way to heal, and with that recognition comes with it different therapy modality: Just to name a few: Art therapy, equine therapy, music therapy, Narrative therapy etc.

When meeting with a therapist for the first time, or during the 15 mins consultation, bring to the room not just yourself and the problems that brought you to them, but ask the therapist their philosophy and get to know how how the therapist plans to guide you in your healing journey.

Then compare that with whether your therapist’s expertise and ability aligns with your values and goals.

Ask about the communication policy with your therapist.

3) Pare down based off boundaries:

Ask about the therapist boundaries and have a rough idea of your boundaries/what you’re comfortable with.

Some clinics allow coaching calls in between sessions, some ask you to wait til your next scheduled appointment. Maybe a therapist only works remotely, or maybe she has ability to do both. Some clinics have a strict no call/ no show policy. If you know that you struggle with inflexibility and would feel hurt being charged a late fee, it’s important to ask and be informed. If on the other hand, a clinic that preferred you call to cancel but does not have any real consequence to your no call/no show, and you know historically you would not be accountable then don’t work with that clinic.

I have found that some clients who have identify anxiety as a problem are more appreciative of being able to communicate with me outside of session for reassurance (this is when I worked in a community mental health).

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, finding a therapist that works for you will take time. Know that, as a therapist, I want to help everyone, AND I know that I am not the best person for everyone. Remember that you know yourself best, and the person who makes the final decision about who you will work with is you.

I hope these tips helped with the selection process. Good luck!

— Bao

Hello,

I am a therapist, based out of Milwaukee, WI. My work is informed by the Narrative Therapy perspective. I believe that the stories we tell ourselves are an essential part of working through the problems in our lives. If you resonated with anything written here and want to connect, please feel free to reach out to me via my contact page.